Frozen In Bliss III: Neichzebnig

The faeries sang their sorrow,

The sirens played their fury,

The muses lamented their torment,

The pixies cried their grief.



The land of pleasure and majik, Neichzebnig!

For once it had been an enchanted kingdom of spirits,

Now grace has forsaken thee.

No more than a barren place of forlorn creatures,

No more of the colorful paths of floras to welcome me.

But violets still strive on such harsh enchanted earth,

For a tale of long ago still roam in eternal mystery:

The Grim’s love and the violets;



Vaalkvothura! The continent of great Lords and warriors!

From where The Grim was conceived,

Its soil from where The Grim was nurtured.

And the violets from the kingdom of Neichzebnig

With her greatest love a faerie once planted ‘em,

And with all her heart sent them to faraway places,

And with all her soul embraced each with beautiful memories.

The petals traveled through the invisible tunnels of Neichzebnig,

To the hollow sunken valley at Vaalkvothura’s edge.

There lived The Grim

In solitude,

In madness,

In nothing,

In darkness.



Love and death go together, it was said.

What of violets and The Grim in the tale?

What of love and death?

The tale of long ago of The Grim’s love and the violets,

Mysterious death of the lovely faerie of violets

And the mysterious love of The Grim.



I stand frozen on grassy lands.

At the center of the world here lies

Great power of will and pride.

So long had been my stay,

On so far I’ve come astray

Minds in shattered array

Of old memories and tales.

The Great Lord of Tundr my master,

Has called forth a war to beget peace.

What peace my Lord?

On to this land of wonder and bliss?

For heavens, should I not weep?

For death, should I not fear?

Does hearts of the living count not to the King?

I serve thee by heart, and by the crown hurt returned to me;

Torment crushes me for leaving paradise,

With rues I fled your palace.

My Lord’s beautiful face in wrinkling desperation,

I could not bear to see,

Not a sight of ebony locks

Or that hazel orbs that sees through souls.

Pardon me my dear Lord!

Thy crystal staircases I yearn no more

Or the Mangroves in the snowy alps of Tree Hills invites no more.

Thus swears to forget thy loves ardor!

I rest myself on my poet’s endearments,

Free me from pain and guilt of fleeting passion!

My Lord, my love, and what of you?

My poet, my man or my lover too?



In Neichzebnig my poet been,

Told me stories of the spirits’ plight

Gave me handful of violets in delight!

Ah, he silence me with whispers

With melodious tunes of lovely verses,

Like faeries and muses, sirens and pixies,

A male spirit of beauty lost in the majikal kingdom of Neichzebnig.

And I adore him.

And the owl by his side,

The lips that never cease with sweetest words,

Or caress mine in gentlest way.

My dear poet’s from somewhere he said,

My faith, such could be a lie!

Hear his music not so ordinary,

Flowers dance with him in glee;

For nothing and nowhere and no one alive,

In Vaalkvothura can compare to thee,

In enchanted Neichzebnig could you only be,

With spirits in the land of pleasure, majik, and beauty;

Neichzebnig, the most magnificent place mortal eyes could see.

.

.

.

.

.

--- I MUST BE FREE ---

...

Everything is fleeting.
Nothing always remains the same.
I hate to say this but I have to say good bye.
I need my space.
I need to see myself.
I need to be happy.
I need to live.
Time is ticking away.
I get older every second that passes.
I don't want to wallow in void and pain.
I'm a person.
I get tired.
I'm already jaded.
Be considerate and understanding.
If I don't need it anymore then let me be.
If I'm not happy anymore then set me free.
If nothing has meaning anymore then so be it.
At the last part both ends would still hurt.
Choices don't count.
Whether be it or be it not.
Decisions do no good when it suffices only one.
And thus both ends should benefit.
With either this or that.
I want this.
I want it gone.
Nothing will never change.
I or it have to change.
One way or another.
I have decided.
It's all said and done.
I must be free.




...

Travelogue: Tara! Go na! Part I

I finally bid my farewell to the second semester of school year 2008-2009! How devastated I was! The farewell reminded me that I'll now be spending my last year in college, not just goodbye to my dear alma mater despite my frequent complaints about tuition fee increases, terror teachers, and loads of requirements only to be passed on the same deadlines (But we always pass them an hour or several or a day or a week after the said deadline...hehehe), I'll also be kissing my dearest friends adieu later on!

Now here comes the Holy Week! Me and the people at home always anticipate this date! hahah! Not because of it's religious history, but because we see this a good chance to bond and welcome with enjoyment the incoming summer. For some consecutive summers already, we've been having a trip to places, like the beaches and resorts, parks, restaurants, farms and other amazing places.

Our destination this Summer of 2009 is Tarragona, Davao Oriental! It's actually a small town by the coast in the south-east part of mindanao (Philippines). Together with my kuya Toto, his wife ate Isay, their three kids Issa, Dani, and Gian, my nephews ate Kat, Aron, Joshua, my another sis-in-law ate Mylene and her kids JV, Levy, Yat-yat, and Lenard we travelled from my beloved hometown Tupi, South Cotabato to Davao City. We left just after the sunrise and took us four hous before reaching Davao City; we stayed for lunch at Mapayo's residence, ate Isay's home sweet home. We reached Tarragona in about four hours from Davao City proper. We were welcomed by delicious and excellent foods prepared by ate Isay's Tiya, where we will stay until easter sunday.

So here I am! The beach was actually privately owned by some of ate Isay's close relatives so we're free to bathe there anytime! hehehehe...And the beach was pretty cool and exciting! some kilometers away from the main house was a rocky beach with huge corals that looked like outgrown rocks creating tiny and larger pools within the ocean. The sea don't even smell of brine! I really loved the view, the sound of the waves, and the fresh wind blowing from the open pacific.

Lost, staring at the horizon, I shall return! And a drawing of my mama on the sand...wahahahaha!

The kids really enjoyed the Holy Week at Tarragona. None of them really showed hesitance in bathing in the wild beach, even if the waves were a feet or more bigger than them!

Kiddies up-close, Lenard and Jat-jat, eyes red and bulged because of the salty sea...

Ate Mylene attacked by the waves! Cover with coconut leaves!

We also had nightlife though we're in some kind of a remote area in the peaceful community of Davao Oriental. See below, we also made bonfires for two nights and had fun by the seashore. there was even a time when we decided to walk miles along the shore under a dark starless night sky! We passed by a nearby public cemetery which gave us goosebumps, wrapping us in icy cold fear and shivers. After reaching the other side of the island, we went back still intact and hurried when raindrops started to fall from the sable sky. Each one ran, leaving deep footprints before me. I didn't bother to hurry since I have with me a towel to cover my head. It was an unforgettable experience, walking alone under the night sky along the seashore. Waves crashing loud and roaring, the rain pouring heavy and the wind so strong pushing me against the way. For a moment, it felt dark and scary, I thought maybe it was just because of the heavy rain that blurred my eyesight as tiny figures vanish one by one from my view. Then, I realized I wasn't seeing anything else now but my own feet sinking deeply into the soft black carpet. There was no light in sight, the town had a black out! Creepy things started to appear in my mind, like a ghost or a monster would come dragging me to his lair and rip my skin and crunch my head, devouring my whole body. Or maybe a beautiful and sexy man would abduct me, put me in his bangka and bring me to his nice little hut in another island and he would make love to me throughout the night...nahhh...maybe that would be an alien or a syokoy disguised as a handsome human male specie...hahahaha...

There! I saw something flicker from a distant. The sight of it relieved me, as if hope was then taken from me and now coming back like it heard me calling it's name.thank God we made a bonfire! Finally, it helped me find the correct place, or I may be truly lost in that unfamiliar area, wandering aimlessly in the darkness! Whew..so I'm finally back home...that simple experience strengthen my hope to survive and believe in life. Just continue walking, even in darkness, just believe and don't lose your trust.

Bonfire at night by the beach. From left to right: Aaron Byrne, Maria Isabella, Kinjie, and Ate Mylene.

Me and ate Kat...

I'll be posting for the Part 2 of this travelogue "Tara! Go na!" soon...hehehe..

Ciao for now!..........

"Kono Sekai"

I
Boku wa kimi no zutto
Itsu made mo ni kara
Boku wa kimi ai suru, kite to mite
Yume wa yoi de no ka
Itsu made watashi ga ikiteiru no suguni ikinokoru
'
II.
Kono sekai ii da ne?
Shiroi toshite hana no
Kono sekai doko ni, doko ni hashitte?
Tokidoki tameiki
Itsu watashi wakare no kono sekai mo hitotsu sekai hakken
'
III.
Itsu kikan tsuku no
Ima sugu ni
Nani ga dekiru kana, fureru sono yo?
Itsu no hajimeru ga
Tatoe ga sekai wa owaru itsu mo kimi no zutto issho ni
'
IV.
Kono sekai basho de
Kanashimi ga aru
Koko ni kurai da na, do natte iru no?
Yokereba torikaete
Kono sekai kimi no uta no michiru to azayaki suru na

...ESCAPE tO PARADISE...

I believe that this is the moment of my escape. After years of searching for the right path, for my destination, I finally realized all the signs on the road, tried to tell me. During those uncertain times, I thought I could never get sight of the right trail. I deemed it impossible for someone like myself - coward and weak - to dare get a grasp of peace and happiness, even lightly. But I stood, held my head upright, blinked my eyes a moment, but never regarded myself a bit of strength and will. The cowardice and weakness which molded my character, contoured my actions were the ones that unexpectedly nurtured an iota of strength and will submerged within the pit of my consciousness. Owing to the hurts and resentments I've exposed myself into in the past years of my life, these have hardened me, nullified the piercing pain of unmended wounds. Later, I was in apathy however, realizing such coldness in me, whereupon I entered a new place on earth filled with frivolity yet saturated with fervent love for life. My cynical view changed, my somber regard to living was soon tinted with frolic naivety. I then saw the light emanating from a direction I once forbore to look upon, yet I now firmly laid my eyes on. My escape to paradise will not remain in perpetuity, i reminded my self. But, I still believe in paradise. I know it's not some place you can look for. It's how you feel for a moment in your life. It is this moment. Not yesterday nor tomorrow, but at this very moment.