"yOu can't win at everything but yOu can try"...as said by Ely Buendia, vocaList for the FiLipino bands Eraserheads and PupiL in the song 'with a smiLe'...
..i've been dreaming and hoping for perfection aLL this time...i thought of what Anna PavLova once said, to paraphrase it, "perfection is impossibLe, but i'LL try to be perfect"...my Life was never perfect, even a LittLe cLose to it. my Life was fiLLed with more pain, suffering, hopeLessness, LoneLiness, and mistakes than happiness, gLory, success, and pLeasure...i've been inside my cocoon for so many years..been dreaming..just dreaming of a Life where i wiLL never again know misery's pain...after years and years of pretending of being somebody eLse...acting as the person i aLways dreamed to be...i finaLLy come to reaLize what those Lies had made me...
First, i didn't know waht to do. i was in confusion...as i speak, words are distorted...my eyes were Like those of a ghost's souL chained inside a prison ceLL..it was dark..it was haunted...there wasn't any warmth in me as i stare at things around me...coLd as ice...i was...
...i've Longed for freedom...i've Longed to experience what sunLight wouLd feeL on my cheeks...but i was afraid...afraid that it wouLd burn my skin and wiLL Leave scars that wouLd never heaL. in aother words, i was afraid to get hurt if i open myseLf to the reaL worLd.. because inside my fantasy...it might be painfuL, but i thought outside must be much more tormenting...
..i was wrong.. it wasn't Long when i finaLLy break Loose from my private cocoon...the haunting ghost was finaLLy saved, and then, i reaLizd i won't go anywhere by just dreaming...i wanted everything to be perfect as possibLe, i wanted to have everything..everything...i thought i have aLL the power..the controL...and i was wrong...that power onLy existed in my own iLL-fated worLd...in reaLity, it was hard to grab the power i so yearned...
..i've Learned a Lesson...it's not wrong to dream big, neither it is impossibLe to reach even the most difficuLt goaLs...because somehow, atLeast you can have one thing that you needed the most, but not everything that you wanted to have...if there shouLd be one great goaL for me...a dream..it wouLd be to be the greatest cartoonist in the worLd! and to own an animation company in the phiLippines where the taLent of many great FiLipinos in art and animation wiLL be recognized by many...
..my goaL was to fOLLow my greatest passion...it doesn't matter if i Lose everything for that passion...atLeast i know it was the very best thing to make me happy and satisfied...i am not very inteLLectuaL. kinda more of an ideaListic than reaListic...but every persons principLe is the thing that makes him aLive and surviving...never teLL anyone that his principLes are wrong, it wiLL onLy make him feeL worthLess and hopeLess...Learn to share with hiM your views and never criticize his opinions...by then, he'LL reaLize what is wrong and what shouLd be right...
so if i foLLow my heart, and do wahat i most Love doing..it's my decision...it's my principLe in Life...it's my foundation of surviving...
..now, i know i don't reaLLy need to have everything..it is enough that i couLd fuLLfiLL one great dream...that is, to foLLow what i know is right and good for me...
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