“I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.”


Takeshi Shudo

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Pumpkin Dream





To see a pumpkin in your dream implies openness and receptiveness to new ideas and experiences. A pumpkin is also symbolic of the female sexuality. Alternately, it may relate to the popular fairy tale of Cinderella where a carriage turns back into a pumpkin. In this regard, it may represent some situation in which time is running out.

The comfort room was indeed a comfort for my vanity and me. I went in and out of every restroom found in the campus as often as was possible. I looked through each wide mirror and saw myself, my make-up getting smudgy again. For numerous times I couldn’t even count, I retouched. I fixed my coif and outfit; sprayed my perfume excessively that I wrinkled my nose from the strong scent, to make sure it’ll linger in every corridor I walked. Then, I flashed my most alluring smile at the beautiful reflection.

As I walked through the hallway, a meddlesome pack of rowdy boys kept on making noise and hooting like wild monkeys.

“Woah, Nell’s coming!”

“Hurry, here she comes!”

“Sexy chick . . . Whew!”

“Yeah, dude!”

“Man, smells so sweet!”

I strut my walk, swayed my hips, my intoxicating fragrance oozing for them to inhale and bewilder their masculine imaginations. They followed me, intentionally bumping into each other, though pretending otherwise as if our meeting was just mere coincidence. However, my vanity and I knows better. I flirted like a butterfly finding its mate. Instinctively, my Pheromones were enough to entice these sexual swarms into the cavities of my hive, or were I the one victimized by circumstances?

After school hours, I waited for Uncle Ton to fetch me. On his motor scooter, we rode the streets, and again, by some unfortunate turn of events, I encountered the jeering rascals I have mentioned before.

“Nell!”

It was my cousin Claire, who called. She was with those raucous men. I didn’t know she’s acquainted with the monkeys. It’s kinda weird, but from this distance, I think I heard someone from the group asked her, “Is she already married? That her husband?”

Pish. Do I look like a jade to them already? They’re unbelievable—considering how pretty I look! Of course, I’m not ashamed to say that in the least. It is a fact.

“No! That’s not her husband, it’s our Uncle.”

Uncle Ton dropped me then and there. Claire approached me, and following her was a man I fairly recognized.

“Nell, this is Klein. “

“Oh, hi!” I remember him way back in college. He was Claire’s classmate and was 3 years my senior.

“He wants to talk with you. Something he needs to tell you.”

By that, Klein shyly smiled, but still managed to look at me straight in the eyes with rather sincere intentions. We led ourselves into an amusement park. By the entrance was my mother. She was smiling as if knowing who Klein was and his purpose with me, though they haven’t even met yet. Throughout the time we were with Claire, she nagged Klein nonstop to tell me whatever it was he needed to tell me.

“Not now, we’ll save it later.”

Ah! He wanted to speak with me in private, which I found very flattering—a man saving his words just for me—and only for me!

“Woah! Pumpkin trees?!” I was totally amazed when we passed by a row of Pumpkin trees.

“Looks like it, and real Pumpkin trees, I guess,” he was amazed just the same.

“Oh My! Klein, the pumpkins have faces!” I pointed at the huge trees with large orange gourds hanging on each bough.

“Hah! Like Jack-O-Lanterns . . . Aww! What the—”

Before I could turn to him, a hard thing hit me, “Ouch!” To my astonishment, the Pumpkins were hurling themselves at Klein and me.

“Ow! Don’t worry, Nell! I can handle these feisty Jack-O-Lanterns! Hehe,” he smiled at the possible heroic deed. Whilst Klein was trying to protect me by willingly catching every Pumpkin that fell, I did my best to avoid them. I didn’t need to bother myself of catching those crazy bigger-than-my-head Jack-O-Lanterns. As the hurling Pumpkins took pleasure in exhausting our energies, both of us enjoyed the magical weirdness of that afternoon.

A certain game at the amusement park caught my cousin’s attention. She busied herself together with the gamekeeper, and whatever the game was, I had no idea.

Klein grinned. We felt a surge of hope and excitement. We couldn’t wait to flee from my cousin’s company and finally have our lone time together.

“Claire, Nell and I’ll be strolling around. Are you coming with us?”

“I’m okay here . . . I’ll see you two later.”

“So, shall we go?”

I nodded in accord. We were in a merry mood, everything felt warm, light and carefree. Neither of us was too frugal of smiles and laughs—a cheerful pair of youth. Later, we stopped by an area for restaurants, UK’s, cafes, souvenir shops, and other business stalls. We found a nice cafĂ© to have some snack, and on a small roundtable for two, we sat facing each other.

“You’re really funny, Nell. You never change.”

“Funny or crazy?”

“A doze of both, maybe.”

I laughed, “Or too much of the latter?” I puckered and puffed my cheeks like a fish.

“That’s cute, Nelly.”

“Ooh, you find being crazy cute, eh? That’s dangerous. Tsk tsk!”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re risking yourself to the hazard of a potential contagion.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You might get it, too, you know.”

Klein laughed at my childlike logic. “I trained once in a psychiatric ward, Nell. Obviously, I’m still sane, am I not?”

“I’m not your typical psycho patient, sir.”

“Of course, you’re not. Actually, you’re—should I say worse? Or better?”

I frowned.

“You’re waaaay better. They’re not as pretty, as smart and as funny as you.”

I beamed. He winked at the reaction.

“But . . .”

Now, I glowered, “Yes?”

“But . . . you’re worse in a special way.”

I tossed my head on the side.

“Your craziness gets me hooked, and I feel like I would want to bear with you for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, talks,” I beamed again.

“I’m being honest here, I’m not just flattering you.”

“Ha-ha! I appreciate the compliment, sir . . . So, how’s life by the way?”

“I’m working in a hospital in the city. A little busy, and I’m doing night shift lately. I’m fine with my current job, but not as fun as being in school.”

“That’s also why I’m still stuck with our dear Alma Mater . . . can’t get enough of Mr. President, FMS, you see.”

He chuckled, “Mr. President, FMS, huh? Have you been rummaging his office lately?”

“Oh. No! I wouldn’t ever dare do that! I’m only a Hallway Celebrity!” I posed for an imaginary photo shoot.

“Ha-ha! I can still remember you were that bubbly, charming young woman at school, either always deep in lively conversations with people, or running through the hallways greeting and waving at familiar faces—or whomever you encounter.”

“Weh? That’s a lie! Was I that disruptive to classes?”

He chuckled, “You were quite amusing.”

“What can I do, maybe I’ll always be a child.”

“A child at heart, huh? Very adorable.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Aye, Nell . . . and that’s why I like you.”

I went speechless. Stunned, I stared at him in disbelief.

“I have always liked you, Nell.”

A little smile curved my lips. “Klein!” in vain, I tried to deny what I’ve just heard.

“I find you pretty and very interesting.”

“You do?” I asked half-pleased, half-mockingly.

He nodded, “I do. Nell, and I want to know you better.”

To know me better. What good is there to know about me? He is sincerely asking for it. I now he sees something in me I never saw myself, and of which I always feared to discover.

“. . . and how it is to be with your company.”

I could only smile.


“People say that love is in the air. Until now, I’m still breathing. Yet I’m still single.” Sighs.

The beautiful face in the mirror looked weary. Her eyes may be in colorful shades, her full red lips parted, her cheeks rouged to blush like a shy little girl of seven, but the hollows of her eyes defied the theatrical appearance she tried to portray.

“Maybe they’ll look good in violet contacts. I should get a pair one day.”

Vanity and I left our “comfort” room and made our way to the busy hallway, my Halliwood Walk of Fame, as what I personally call it.

“Nell Honey!”

“Honey Bee! I missed you so much!” we kissed each other’s cheeks. Her name’s Beryl, my beautiful and ever loyal bff. Our friendship started during our first year in college, we were classmates and we never expected we’d be this close after just a year. I was the playful youth, and she was the mother-like nymph. If I was Vanity, she was Lust. If I was Avarice, she was Gluttony. The two of us, I would call “The Sin Sisters”. We shared the same values in life: to be beautiful, to be desired, to own, to indulge. But Honey Bee was better a sinner than me, I the worst. In reality, she is always better, and I accept it though bitterly because I know a credible and honest witness to our comparison. The Great Mirror who, like the witch in Snow White, shows to me who truly the fairest is.

I loved Beryl, too much than to stain our friendship with my vulnerability. She understands me when I couldn’t understand myself, and she accepted me despite and in spite of my demented mental state.

“The other girls are in the garden, they miss you!” she held my hands and led me to where our friends are. As was usual, we had our bonding session in the garden; sharing about the latest news on our daily romances, family issues, beauty secrets, and all those juicy gossips about other people.

“He asked me out! How about you, Nell?’

“Huh, me? Duh, I’d rather be with you guys, than be with them guys!”

“That’s sweet Nelly Honey!”

“Of course Honey Bee. My friends always come first.”

In my head, I recited my favorite friendship lyric:

My Friends comes first. yes, they could still be life's worst.

We would laugh, play silly stuff

But, when my girlfriends get played, I'm gonna slit the player's throat.

When my boyfriends get dumped, I'm gonna run trim out her lashes.

Men won't have me better than my friends,

they are no good, compared to my bestfriends.

Boy, you may have me, but, when worse comes to worst,

My friends comes first!!!

“When was the last time you had a boyfriend?”

“Three years ago? Uh—no, I never had one. I never considered those past fling partners to be my boyfriends.”

“But you called them boyfriends, anyway?”

“Fling partners they better be called.”

“You don’t have any plans of looking for a new one soon?”

Darn. I always have. What a stupid question.

“You see, Nell prefers one-night stands and multiple partners.”

“Ha-ha. You got me there, Joan.”

“Better be careful, Nell Honey.”

“Oh, yeah, I never forgot. Don’t worry Beryl. Ha-ha!”

“Why what’s that?”

“For everybody’s knowledge, Nell has a Pledge of Purity. Right, Nell Honey?”

I grinned.

“Wow, we didn’t know staying virgin’s still in. ‘till when d’you intend to keep it, then?”

”Until her 20th birthday.”

They all guffawed at the idea. How can I blame them? They’re all too stupid not to understand the importance of the pledge. Pitiful, they’re already too stained that what they can only do is to mock my difference from them. Except Honey Bee. Though Beryl was one of those “experienced” young women, I never felt any disgust for her. Maybe because we’ve been friends for years now, or because of the fact that she only gives herself to a man she loves, no matter how many they had been. Thus, she earned my respect. Unlike me, I engaged myself to making out with strangers, shamelessly flirting with men and leaving them all hanging in the air at the end. And I thought I was acting the right way all along. I was wrong. I saw myself as something to be desired, to be used, to be eaten away by lust, like a host so to purge out love and affection from her parasites. Like the bloodsucking mosquitoes, who loved to feast on me—literally. Scientifically speaking, my delicious Pheromones and high level of estrogen were actually the culprits as to why the male species or the mosquitoes chose to devour me. Love. Lust. They go hand in hand don’t they? But, whichever, I want them both—fiercely.

“Gawd, you’re near!”

“Yeah, and I couldn’t wait!”

“Say that again, Nell! You think it’s that simple?”

“Hush, Beryl, I’m joking.”

“I thought you’re going to do it with a total stranger?” Joan was the one to ask.

“Yup, either that or—“

“She’ll do it with the man who loves her.” Beryl finished for me.

“But you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Ouch. You need not to say that.

“Don’t worry Nelly Honey. The right guy will come, maybe sooner than you expected.”

“I know Honey Bee. Anyway, I’m not the only one feeling bad of not finding my man yet. I’m sure he’s feeling just as bad as I am of not finding me soon either.”

“He absolutely is!”

I wonder if he really is getting impatient of not meeting me yet. Then, I also wonder if “he” really does exist for me.

“Excuse me.” I headed for the comfort room for another vanity check. I looked through each wide mirror and saw myself, my make-up getting smudgy again. For numerous times I couldn’t even count, I retouched. I fixed my coif and outfit; sprayed my perfume excessively that I wrinkled my nose from the strong scent, so to let it linger in the air as I pass by. Then, I flashed my most alluring smile at the beautiful reflection.

“People say that love is in the air. No wonder I’m suffocating, like inhaling carbon dioxide instead of oxygen. Maybe that’s why I’m still single, I have to experience love the other way around.”


Cinderella, Cinderella. Lucky you, you rode a beautiful carriage made of pumpkin, and still found your prince charming. Nelly, Nelly. Pumpkins are already hurling themselves at you, isn’t that demanding? Good thing he's there to catch those crazy Jack-O-Lanterns for you.

Bah! Fairy tale talks. I am already a woman in physique, yet a child still at heart...

And that’s why I like you, Nell.

I could only smile.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Life Notes V

No one. Not anybody or a somebody can tell me what is best for me. I choose to be happy. I choose to live. I choose to create my own existence. I choose to be the person I want to be. I choose to make things happen.

On my own. By my capabilities. With integrity, composure, and dignity. God trusted me with wisdom.

I am divine. I am sprung from the Almighty Creator.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

grAvity: Seek the Sublime

grAvity: Seek the Sublime

Seek the Sublime

I see my soul.

I, Aurora Celaestis, The Heavenly Light,
Beautiful and Magnificent,
Devoid of any vicious blight.

I see my future.

Clear as a Diamond crystal.
Sturdy as the hardest Stone.
The future lies ahead of me,
Vivid, certain, and strong.

No stopping, ever pursuing,
It's my destiny, my life.

To soar with fervent zeal,
Try, fail, and try once more
Failure is my twin.
Success my shadow.
After every darkness or shade,
To fail, maybe.
After every light in space,
To succeed, I see.

No stopping ever pursuing,
I am my destiny, my life.

The universe is my entity,
Perfect and grand.
Tomorrow is infinity.
Seek the sublime.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Prologue to My New Novel



Prologue



My name is Fleur. I’m an orphan, so I don’t have any surname to attach my first name with. I live in Tarragona, Davao Oriental, a small municipality by the coast surrounded by dense forests, meadows and pastures, and coconuts areas. The townspeople including the parishioners and my church-mates would only acquaint me as Fleur of Tarragona to people outside of our municipality.


I reside within the compounds of San Pedro Claver’s Parish, under the care of two parishioners Miss Emma and her husband, Brother Noel. They never had a child but they were very kind to raise the four of us­ ― me, SheddonĂ©, Dan and Sebastien­—altogether parentless since childhood.


In exchange to their kindheartedness, the four of us decided to serve in church and in the community. Dan and SheddonĂ© served during the mass and home visitations. Sebastien’s considered as the most outstanding of us four, not because he’s the eldest, but also because he's the most active and efficient in community and church activities. Sebastien’s remarkably knowledgeable on the subject of religion and philosophy­—in which I’m very poor at! Since my potentials could undeniably not equal theirs, I’m better off cleaning around San Pedro’s compound . . . like a janitress.

Other than being an all-around janitress of San Pedro Claver’s Parish, I’m also a senior in Tarragona Public High. Even with my academics, I never pass for the honor roll . . . nor have I joined any extra-curricular activity . . . ever.


An average girl, you may call me . . . err . . . perhaps a little bit below the average . . . and please—forget about the physical aspect! Shall we just stick to the old proverbs: “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” or simply, “Looks can be deceiving.” From thus, I believe that ignorance can never speak a person’s truth; nor judgment based on blind faith. And as for me, the past has long been forgotten, and I know enough about myself, my life and my truth­―or so I thought.



The Bell tolled.


“Good morning!”


I greet the chirping Maya birds outside my window . . . and as always, unsurprisingly, my greeting sent the windows to bolt out open again.





Sunday, March 21, 2010

Creativity + Bipolar Disorder

What has Bipolar disorder got to do with creativity?

I've read in many articles that many great artists and writers are bipolar or are speculated to be bipolar by psychiatrists.

Heightened creativity usually happens during mania. I guess that's a good reason, since it's a time of hyperactivity, elated self-esteem, impulsiveness, over optimism, imagination runs high and so it might result to a person doing his bests and making the most of his talent and skill.

I am one good example. The last time I posted in my blog was two months ago. And now, expect me to have more than three posts just this day. I haven't continued my on-going novel for almost 3 months, and now i'm continuing it again. I haven't draw for almost a year, now I'm thinking of doing it again and imagining a lot more than ever! I'm sleepless nowadays because of indulging myself in these productive activities.

Some of the well-known creative people who are and might be bipolar:
My idols: Marylin Monroe, Britney Spears, Emily Dickinson, Vincent Van Gogh, Michaelangelo, Kurt Cobain, Ozzy Osbourne, Edgar Allan Poe, Axl Rose

And many other!!!!

Someday, I'll be one of the long list of creative minds with bipolar disorder. You'll see my name in many articles, Wikipedia, and other books. Haha




Yours truly,

Mistress Gaga

A Cycle of Mania and Depression

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Today, I want to be my own doctor. what kind of doctor? Hmm...Maybe a Psychologist or better, a Psychiatrist. Supposing I took a course on psychiatric medicine and is now diagnosing a patient. And who's the patient? Me, of course! Who else but me! Me! Me! Me! My dear me! I am Dr. KMLC diagnosing a patient named KMLC for Bipolar Disorder.

Bipolar Disorder? What's that? Is it some disease I get from going to different polar regions around the globe? Is it a virus I've acquired during a stay in North Pole? South Pole maybe? Nah, I haven't even got the chance to fly out of my country. Thanks to the internet, I have gathered facts about Bipolar Disorder. Ah, by the way, how'd I new about the term? It's complicated and stupid, and got my ass kicked by sexy cupid. I guess he wants to play. Play with my mood, personality and life. Oh, cupid, my dear. I'm not referring to love cupid, it's you pleasure! it's that pleasure I get when I'm happy, and the sorrow I get if I do not have you! It's that. The complication started somewhere during my high school years. I had a strange gut feeling about what's going on with my thoughts and actions. But the truth is, I read about it in a magazine....Home and Living Journal???...Whatever..So, there, BIPOLAR DISEASE..MOOD SWINGS...MANIC-DEPRESSIVE DISORDER...and blah blah...Since i was a reader, and i just love psychology, I skimmed through the pages and found out (Gasps), I am Bipolar! Then, I read in other resources, the best would be my Encyclopedias. And others.


Bipolar disorder is a term that describes a major psychiatric problem with one's capacity to maintain a normal and stable mood. This term was in the past only used exclusively to describe those individuals whose problem with moodiness met a strict criterion - that is, they had to experience a major depressed mood for at least two weeks in duration alternating with episodes of abnormally high moods, called mania. Today, the term bipolar disorder is now frequently used to include those individuals who have irritability, and impulsive angry outbursts in addition to depression.

Symptoms:

During manic periods, people with bipolar disorder may:
  • Be overly happy, hopeful, and excited
  • Change suddenly from being joyful to being angry and hostile
  • Behave in strange ways
  • Become restless
  • Talk rapidly
  • Have a lot of energy and need very little sleep
  • Believe they have many skills and powers and can do anything
  • Make grand plans
  • Show poor judgment and make impulsive, harmful decisions
  • Become headstrong, annoying, or demanding
  • Become easily distracted
  • Abuse drugs and alcohol
  • Have a much higher sex drive

During depressive periods, they may:
  • Feel empty, sad, or hopeless
  • Feel guilty, worthless, or helpless
  • Cry often
  • Lose interest in things they usually enjoy, including sex
  • Be unable to think clearly, make decisions, or remember things
  • Sleep poorly
  • Lose or gain weight
  • Have low energy
  • Abuse drugs and alcohol
  • Complain of headaches, stomach aches, and other pains
  • Become focused on death
  • Attempt suicide
Anyone can develop bipolar disorder, including children and teens. However, most people with bipolar disorder develop it in their late teen or early adult years. The illness usually lasts a lifetime.
(I hate this statement...A lifetime???? Gawd!!!)

See there, the criteria fits me so well! Almost perfectly! And to add, my mood swings sometimes interchange every other day.
I'm really thankful of my manic episodes, because those are the times of my great productivity. I write a lot, dream a lot, draw a lot, read a lot, talk a lot, and do a lot!!! it's my creativity to the fullest or slight. It's when I feel like nothing will go wrong, I don't care about obstacles, like "Come on baby! I ain't scared of ya!" "Alright! I can do this!" "Yeah, I will be the greatest cartoonist in the world! I will change the world! My name will soon be written in the encyclopedias! No dream is to far, it's in my hands!" Duh, super, I don't get enough sleep because of hyperactivity. And I'm easily angered, i bust out, exploding all the cuss words I know, even facing the person or the thing and cuss at them! And still, I don't care whatever happens after. Then, I forgot about it and proceed to my hobby and other grand plans.

Then, all of a sudden, my glittering hard-as-steel world shrinks into soft and limp veggies. Ah, another extreme cycle of depression. I felt like, "Gawd! I'm so stupid, so ugly, so worthless, so yucky, so dumb and stupid (did i mention it already?), so crazy, so unlovable, so damn my soul to hell! I hate this fucking life! I hate that homosexual-looking person in the mirror! Those ugly teeth, 1-liter coca cola body, drum-like belly, tomboyish attitude, slow pick-up neurons, and everything! Fuck this motherfucking shit! Whew, that was fun to read aloud! But no, 'cuz I'm in a manic mood today, I'm calling myself a gorgeous goddess, I am fabulous, sexy, sophisticated, intelligent (Who else could write lie this? You, moron? No. Me, only me), I can do whatever I want, I don't care about you and your opinion of me. keep it to yourself 'cuz I don't give a damn about it. I am great and forever will be. You will look up at me 'cuz I know I'm tall and my stance's so cool. Can you argue more?

Okay, I am in my depressed episode. I hurt myself, mutilate myself, bang my head on the wall, slap myself so hard in front of the mirror until my cheek turns scarlet, and laugh at myself while crying. I would put on outrageous make up and talk to myself in different voices and expressions in the mirror and tell myself how fucked up my life is, and how messed up I will be forever. I would advise myself to stay calm and strong, or the other would advise me to cut (again) my wrist, hit myself again and commit suicide. Oh, this isn't bipolar anymore...I think I'm now talking about my multiple personality. Anyway, they may be related to one another. What, am I bipolar with multiple personality? Great! I'll talk about that issue in another post.

This is the reason people would describe me "Funny, hyper, UNIQUE, moody, different, and the list goes on...." They tell me I'm different, weird, impulsive and unpredictable. Of course, even I couldn't predict when my cycle changes. I haven;'t really opened this up to many,. and to those whom I've shared this issue with, they brush it off telling me, you're normal..just different. It's not serious. Well, I say it is. If attempting suicide a serious problem for them, why not mine? It's much more than desiring to kill myself.

Until now, i still don't have any idea how i became this. What's the cause and what triggers my episodes. it just happen on its own, without warning. I just feel it one day, and woke up feeling the other the next day.

So that's about me. i have lots of experiences that would consider me crazy. But I'm not. I'm just Bipolar with multiple personalities. This is a serious disease they say, but while i'm in my Manic episode, it doesn't bother me. When i'm depressed, it does bother me a lot. The hell, it's ruining my life and relationships! Si today, I'm happy! I hope tomorrow will stay the same. No more cycles, please? It's difficult, I might be dead the morning after. So please have mercy on me sexy cupid!

I'm going gaga over this. :)




Yours truly,

Mistress Gaga


Aurora Caelestis

I am Aurora Caelestis. I am the brightest light in all of heavens and universe. I am the light, the hope, the dream, and the life. Look up at me with awe, but better avert your gaze if you mean to lay your dirty eyes on me. I will blind you, filth!

Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm an ascaris bookworm

I've got lots of books...I buy books everytime..but each time I visit a bookstore, I can't find something great to read..No more historical novels, no more tragic love stories, no more to make me dreamy and ecstatic...Well, there are some on the shelves, but not as interesting as those I've read years ago..I'm also looking for some titles I know I wouldn't find in this small city..But I'm still hoping if not hopeful! Since I've got nothing else to read, I'm into movies now...Can anybody lend me books?? Or We'll just have a trade, then, to be fair..hahaha...

On literary criticism...I used to be good in critiquing literary pieces, but I'm very frustrated about a course I'm taking up now (Literary Criticism).

I think I'm losing my skill! Waah! Somebody save me! first, I was very good with comics, but later lost the talent. Then, I became a writer (a novelist, to be specific) but the craft is slowly ebbing away from my system! Guess what? My mouth is becoming a monster! eventually, it would numb my beautiful talented hands, and would rule over my life. Let's try to asses: I'm enjoying debates and talks nowadays, I'm doing student teaching, I frequently become the root of arguments, because of my bad mouth I tore relationships, and because of this mouth I spill everything!

Going back to books...
I need to read more! I'm hungry...I'm thirsty...