“I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.”


Takeshi Shudo
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Pumpkin Dream





To see a pumpkin in your dream implies openness and receptiveness to new ideas and experiences. A pumpkin is also symbolic of the female sexuality. Alternately, it may relate to the popular fairy tale of Cinderella where a carriage turns back into a pumpkin. In this regard, it may represent some situation in which time is running out.

The comfort room was indeed a comfort for my vanity and me. I went in and out of every restroom found in the campus as often as was possible. I looked through each wide mirror and saw myself, my make-up getting smudgy again. For numerous times I couldn’t even count, I retouched. I fixed my coif and outfit; sprayed my perfume excessively that I wrinkled my nose from the strong scent, to make sure it’ll linger in every corridor I walked. Then, I flashed my most alluring smile at the beautiful reflection.

As I walked through the hallway, a meddlesome pack of rowdy boys kept on making noise and hooting like wild monkeys.

“Woah, Nell’s coming!”

“Hurry, here she comes!”

“Sexy chick . . . Whew!”

“Yeah, dude!”

“Man, smells so sweet!”

I strut my walk, swayed my hips, my intoxicating fragrance oozing for them to inhale and bewilder their masculine imaginations. They followed me, intentionally bumping into each other, though pretending otherwise as if our meeting was just mere coincidence. However, my vanity and I knows better. I flirted like a butterfly finding its mate. Instinctively, my Pheromones were enough to entice these sexual swarms into the cavities of my hive, or were I the one victimized by circumstances?

After school hours, I waited for Uncle Ton to fetch me. On his motor scooter, we rode the streets, and again, by some unfortunate turn of events, I encountered the jeering rascals I have mentioned before.

“Nell!”

It was my cousin Claire, who called. She was with those raucous men. I didn’t know she’s acquainted with the monkeys. It’s kinda weird, but from this distance, I think I heard someone from the group asked her, “Is she already married? That her husband?”

Pish. Do I look like a jade to them already? They’re unbelievable—considering how pretty I look! Of course, I’m not ashamed to say that in the least. It is a fact.

“No! That’s not her husband, it’s our Uncle.”

Uncle Ton dropped me then and there. Claire approached me, and following her was a man I fairly recognized.

“Nell, this is Klein. “

“Oh, hi!” I remember him way back in college. He was Claire’s classmate and was 3 years my senior.

“He wants to talk with you. Something he needs to tell you.”

By that, Klein shyly smiled, but still managed to look at me straight in the eyes with rather sincere intentions. We led ourselves into an amusement park. By the entrance was my mother. She was smiling as if knowing who Klein was and his purpose with me, though they haven’t even met yet. Throughout the time we were with Claire, she nagged Klein nonstop to tell me whatever it was he needed to tell me.

“Not now, we’ll save it later.”

Ah! He wanted to speak with me in private, which I found very flattering—a man saving his words just for me—and only for me!

“Woah! Pumpkin trees?!” I was totally amazed when we passed by a row of Pumpkin trees.

“Looks like it, and real Pumpkin trees, I guess,” he was amazed just the same.

“Oh My! Klein, the pumpkins have faces!” I pointed at the huge trees with large orange gourds hanging on each bough.

“Hah! Like Jack-O-Lanterns . . . Aww! What the—”

Before I could turn to him, a hard thing hit me, “Ouch!” To my astonishment, the Pumpkins were hurling themselves at Klein and me.

“Ow! Don’t worry, Nell! I can handle these feisty Jack-O-Lanterns! Hehe,” he smiled at the possible heroic deed. Whilst Klein was trying to protect me by willingly catching every Pumpkin that fell, I did my best to avoid them. I didn’t need to bother myself of catching those crazy bigger-than-my-head Jack-O-Lanterns. As the hurling Pumpkins took pleasure in exhausting our energies, both of us enjoyed the magical weirdness of that afternoon.

A certain game at the amusement park caught my cousin’s attention. She busied herself together with the gamekeeper, and whatever the game was, I had no idea.

Klein grinned. We felt a surge of hope and excitement. We couldn’t wait to flee from my cousin’s company and finally have our lone time together.

“Claire, Nell and I’ll be strolling around. Are you coming with us?”

“I’m okay here . . . I’ll see you two later.”

“So, shall we go?”

I nodded in accord. We were in a merry mood, everything felt warm, light and carefree. Neither of us was too frugal of smiles and laughs—a cheerful pair of youth. Later, we stopped by an area for restaurants, UK’s, cafes, souvenir shops, and other business stalls. We found a nice cafĂ© to have some snack, and on a small roundtable for two, we sat facing each other.

“You’re really funny, Nell. You never change.”

“Funny or crazy?”

“A doze of both, maybe.”

I laughed, “Or too much of the latter?” I puckered and puffed my cheeks like a fish.

“That’s cute, Nelly.”

“Ooh, you find being crazy cute, eh? That’s dangerous. Tsk tsk!”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re risking yourself to the hazard of a potential contagion.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You might get it, too, you know.”

Klein laughed at my childlike logic. “I trained once in a psychiatric ward, Nell. Obviously, I’m still sane, am I not?”

“I’m not your typical psycho patient, sir.”

“Of course, you’re not. Actually, you’re—should I say worse? Or better?”

I frowned.

“You’re waaaay better. They’re not as pretty, as smart and as funny as you.”

I beamed. He winked at the reaction.

“But . . .”

Now, I glowered, “Yes?”

“But . . . you’re worse in a special way.”

I tossed my head on the side.

“Your craziness gets me hooked, and I feel like I would want to bear with you for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, talks,” I beamed again.

“I’m being honest here, I’m not just flattering you.”

“Ha-ha! I appreciate the compliment, sir . . . So, how’s life by the way?”

“I’m working in a hospital in the city. A little busy, and I’m doing night shift lately. I’m fine with my current job, but not as fun as being in school.”

“That’s also why I’m still stuck with our dear Alma Mater . . . can’t get enough of Mr. President, FMS, you see.”

He chuckled, “Mr. President, FMS, huh? Have you been rummaging his office lately?”

“Oh. No! I wouldn’t ever dare do that! I’m only a Hallway Celebrity!” I posed for an imaginary photo shoot.

“Ha-ha! I can still remember you were that bubbly, charming young woman at school, either always deep in lively conversations with people, or running through the hallways greeting and waving at familiar faces—or whomever you encounter.”

“Weh? That’s a lie! Was I that disruptive to classes?”

He chuckled, “You were quite amusing.”

“What can I do, maybe I’ll always be a child.”

“A child at heart, huh? Very adorable.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Aye, Nell . . . and that’s why I like you.”

I went speechless. Stunned, I stared at him in disbelief.

“I have always liked you, Nell.”

A little smile curved my lips. “Klein!” in vain, I tried to deny what I’ve just heard.

“I find you pretty and very interesting.”

“You do?” I asked half-pleased, half-mockingly.

He nodded, “I do. Nell, and I want to know you better.”

To know me better. What good is there to know about me? He is sincerely asking for it. I now he sees something in me I never saw myself, and of which I always feared to discover.

“. . . and how it is to be with your company.”

I could only smile.


“People say that love is in the air. Until now, I’m still breathing. Yet I’m still single.” Sighs.

The beautiful face in the mirror looked weary. Her eyes may be in colorful shades, her full red lips parted, her cheeks rouged to blush like a shy little girl of seven, but the hollows of her eyes defied the theatrical appearance she tried to portray.

“Maybe they’ll look good in violet contacts. I should get a pair one day.”

Vanity and I left our “comfort” room and made our way to the busy hallway, my Halliwood Walk of Fame, as what I personally call it.

“Nell Honey!”

“Honey Bee! I missed you so much!” we kissed each other’s cheeks. Her name’s Beryl, my beautiful and ever loyal bff. Our friendship started during our first year in college, we were classmates and we never expected we’d be this close after just a year. I was the playful youth, and she was the mother-like nymph. If I was Vanity, she was Lust. If I was Avarice, she was Gluttony. The two of us, I would call “The Sin Sisters”. We shared the same values in life: to be beautiful, to be desired, to own, to indulge. But Honey Bee was better a sinner than me, I the worst. In reality, she is always better, and I accept it though bitterly because I know a credible and honest witness to our comparison. The Great Mirror who, like the witch in Snow White, shows to me who truly the fairest is.

I loved Beryl, too much than to stain our friendship with my vulnerability. She understands me when I couldn’t understand myself, and she accepted me despite and in spite of my demented mental state.

“The other girls are in the garden, they miss you!” she held my hands and led me to where our friends are. As was usual, we had our bonding session in the garden; sharing about the latest news on our daily romances, family issues, beauty secrets, and all those juicy gossips about other people.

“He asked me out! How about you, Nell?’

“Huh, me? Duh, I’d rather be with you guys, than be with them guys!”

“That’s sweet Nelly Honey!”

“Of course Honey Bee. My friends always come first.”

In my head, I recited my favorite friendship lyric:

My Friends comes first. yes, they could still be life's worst.

We would laugh, play silly stuff

But, when my girlfriends get played, I'm gonna slit the player's throat.

When my boyfriends get dumped, I'm gonna run trim out her lashes.

Men won't have me better than my friends,

they are no good, compared to my bestfriends.

Boy, you may have me, but, when worse comes to worst,

My friends comes first!!!

“When was the last time you had a boyfriend?”

“Three years ago? Uh—no, I never had one. I never considered those past fling partners to be my boyfriends.”

“But you called them boyfriends, anyway?”

“Fling partners they better be called.”

“You don’t have any plans of looking for a new one soon?”

Darn. I always have. What a stupid question.

“You see, Nell prefers one-night stands and multiple partners.”

“Ha-ha. You got me there, Joan.”

“Better be careful, Nell Honey.”

“Oh, yeah, I never forgot. Don’t worry Beryl. Ha-ha!”

“Why what’s that?”

“For everybody’s knowledge, Nell has a Pledge of Purity. Right, Nell Honey?”

I grinned.

“Wow, we didn’t know staying virgin’s still in. ‘till when d’you intend to keep it, then?”

”Until her 20th birthday.”

They all guffawed at the idea. How can I blame them? They’re all too stupid not to understand the importance of the pledge. Pitiful, they’re already too stained that what they can only do is to mock my difference from them. Except Honey Bee. Though Beryl was one of those “experienced” young women, I never felt any disgust for her. Maybe because we’ve been friends for years now, or because of the fact that she only gives herself to a man she loves, no matter how many they had been. Thus, she earned my respect. Unlike me, I engaged myself to making out with strangers, shamelessly flirting with men and leaving them all hanging in the air at the end. And I thought I was acting the right way all along. I was wrong. I saw myself as something to be desired, to be used, to be eaten away by lust, like a host so to purge out love and affection from her parasites. Like the bloodsucking mosquitoes, who loved to feast on me—literally. Scientifically speaking, my delicious Pheromones and high level of estrogen were actually the culprits as to why the male species or the mosquitoes chose to devour me. Love. Lust. They go hand in hand don’t they? But, whichever, I want them both—fiercely.

“Gawd, you’re near!”

“Yeah, and I couldn’t wait!”

“Say that again, Nell! You think it’s that simple?”

“Hush, Beryl, I’m joking.”

“I thought you’re going to do it with a total stranger?” Joan was the one to ask.

“Yup, either that or—“

“She’ll do it with the man who loves her.” Beryl finished for me.

“But you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Ouch. You need not to say that.

“Don’t worry Nelly Honey. The right guy will come, maybe sooner than you expected.”

“I know Honey Bee. Anyway, I’m not the only one feeling bad of not finding my man yet. I’m sure he’s feeling just as bad as I am of not finding me soon either.”

“He absolutely is!”

I wonder if he really is getting impatient of not meeting me yet. Then, I also wonder if “he” really does exist for me.

“Excuse me.” I headed for the comfort room for another vanity check. I looked through each wide mirror and saw myself, my make-up getting smudgy again. For numerous times I couldn’t even count, I retouched. I fixed my coif and outfit; sprayed my perfume excessively that I wrinkled my nose from the strong scent, so to let it linger in the air as I pass by. Then, I flashed my most alluring smile at the beautiful reflection.

“People say that love is in the air. No wonder I’m suffocating, like inhaling carbon dioxide instead of oxygen. Maybe that’s why I’m still single, I have to experience love the other way around.”


Cinderella, Cinderella. Lucky you, you rode a beautiful carriage made of pumpkin, and still found your prince charming. Nelly, Nelly. Pumpkins are already hurling themselves at you, isn’t that demanding? Good thing he's there to catch those crazy Jack-O-Lanterns for you.

Bah! Fairy tale talks. I am already a woman in physique, yet a child still at heart...

And that’s why I like you, Nell.

I could only smile.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Seek the Sublime

I see my soul.

I, Aurora Celaestis, The Heavenly Light,
Beautiful and Magnificent,
Devoid of any vicious blight.

I see my future.

Clear as a Diamond crystal.
Sturdy as the hardest Stone.
The future lies ahead of me,
Vivid, certain, and strong.

No stopping, ever pursuing,
It's my destiny, my life.

To soar with fervent zeal,
Try, fail, and try once more
Failure is my twin.
Success my shadow.
After every darkness or shade,
To fail, maybe.
After every light in space,
To succeed, I see.

No stopping ever pursuing,
I am my destiny, my life.

The universe is my entity,
Perfect and grand.
Tomorrow is infinity.
Seek the sublime.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Isang Piso, Isang Libo

Nakakapagod magsulat at tinatamad na akong gamitin and salitang ingles. Wala akong balak maging isang manunulat at ni minsan hindi ko binalak na maging isa. Pero may isa akong pangarap na kahit anong daan man ang nilakad ko, saan man ako dalhin ng buhay, sino man ang makilala ko, at anu man ang mangyari sa 'kin, iisa at natatangi ang patutunguhan ng alin man sa mga desisyon ko. Ayun ay ang pangarap kong maging pinakamagaling na cartoonist sa buong mundo, na kung isalin ko sa ingles, na madalas mong makikita na nakasulat o nakadikit sa aking mga gamit: "The Greatest Cartoonist in The World". Masasabi mong ang taas-taas ng aking pinapangarap, kung iyong iisipin, maaaring imposible ring mangyari. Malakas man ang loob ko, tawagin mo man akong makapal ang mukha at walang hiyang magsabi na magaling ako, wala kang pakialam. Ano ba ang alam mo sa akin? Ang pangalan ko? Ang tirahan ko? Ang edad ko? Ano ngayon? Wala ka paring pakialam dahil hindi mo ako lubusang kilala. Siguro kailangan mo pa akong paembistigahan, pwede mo ring lapitan ang isang manghuhula, pero baka naman ikaw'y lolokohin din lang. Kaya mas makakabuti siguro ay hayaan mo nalang akong managinip nang nakapikit o nakadilat, kahit madalas eh gising na gising na nakatunganga sa ulap. Alam mo ba, ipinagmamalaki ko na puno ako ng pangarap, kahit ang laki at mukhang imposible, klaro naman at matayog. Eh ikaw, may pangarap ka ba sa buhay? Hindi mo ba alam na ang dami din diyan na walang kamalay-malay kung ano ba talaga ang papel nila sa mundo. Walang ka ideya-ideya sa kung ano man ang talagang gusto nilang mangyari sa kanilang buhay. Sa madaling salita, mga taong hindi alam ano ba ang pangarap nila. Nakakalungkot ang sitwasyong ito:

.

A: "Alam mo B, may pangarap ako!"

B: "Ano yon A?"

A: "Pangarap kong maging isang sikat na ballerina balang araw!"

B: "Wow...Talaga A? Ang ganda naman ng pangarap mo..Sigurado akon makakamit mo yan, magaling ka naman kasi eh.."

A: "Hehehe...hindi naman sa ganoon. Eh ikaw?"

B: "Ha? Ako?"

A: "Oo..Anong pangarap mo?"

B: "Pangarap ko? Uhhmm....Teka, iisipin ko pa.."

A: "Madami ka bang pangarap? At napapaisip ka pa?"

B: "Hindi. Ang totoo niyan, wala akong maisip na talagang pangarap ko. Ang ibig kong sabihin parang hindi ko alam kung ano talagang gusto ko. Oo, madami akong gusto pero hindi katulad ng sa iyo. Nakakainggit ka nga eh at mayroon ka talagang natatanging pangarap, yung talagang gustong gusto mo. Sana ako rin."

.

Kung lahat tayo ay may sariling pangarap, bakit merong iba na napapaisip pa pagtinanong kung ano ang pangarap nila? Hindi ba mahalaga ang ating mga ninanais? Kung nag-aalala ka na baka hindi matutupad o sa tingin mo'y hindi mo makakayang abutin ang mga ambisyon mo sa buhay, nagkakamali ka! Ang lahat ng nagtatagumpay ay hindi aksidente, hindi produkto ng kapalaran at ng sitwasyon. Sila ay produkto ng hinubog nilang imahe sa kanilang sarili. Ang tagumpay ay nagsisimula sa isang munting pangarap, sinundan ng positibong aksyon, ginawa ng matinding pagpupursige at pasensya, at pinatibay ng malakas na paniniwala at dedikasyon.
At tandaan mo, HINDI MABUBUO ANG ISANG LIBO KUNG WALA NI ISANG PISO.
.
Tao din sila, katulad mo, katulad ko. Anong pinagkaiba? Nasa unahan sila, ikaw'y nasa hulihan pa..
.
Kung tingin mo'y kaya mo, gawin mo...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

sCribbLes

"Leave your past into oblivion...Surrender your hopes to the wind...Live life in the moment as if heaven is on earth..."
-kiyuki meili chizuko
.
"Today, I chose to do what I can. And I can do anything!"
-kiyuki meili chizuko
.
"Do not regret the things that once made you happy."
-kiyuki meili chizuko
'

Friday, January 23, 2009

StarLit Sky



Under a black starlit sky, I was alone and depressed. I looked up to heaven and glimpsed upon a tiny star and thought it told me something...


Look at the stars. They're like humans here on land. Some shine brightly; some shine the brightest; and some hide behind darkness. There are great men, there are just men, and there are even men of no identity. I am one of the tiny dots in the sky, but I have a color different from the rest of them. though I may be small, odd-colored and my light is dull; you will see sooner or later, that star with the oddest color will shine the brightest from all the rest. Look at them, look at me, look up at all of us, and be hopeful. At first, you may be just a tiny dot in the universe, or maybe nothing at all! But...Believe in yourself...In what you can do, and in what you can be...Be the greatest of who you are, then, you can shine brightly like the rest us, or better yet, the brightest among the stars and inspire mankind...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

dAnNy's SoNg

I'd like to share this song to everybody....This is my favorite song..I first heard this song last year in the car on my way ome from school...Finally, I found it in the net and finally I knew the real title and the artist! Just this day.......I'm so happy.....This is Danny's Song sung by Kenny Loggins...
..
..
..
..
People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one,And we've only just begun.
Think I'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove,Conceived in love.
Sun is gonna shine above.
^^^
And even though we ain't got money,I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.
^^^
Seems as though, a month ago, I was Beta-Chi,Never got high.
Oh, I was a sorry guy.
And now, I smile and face the girl that shares my name.
Now I'm through with the game.This boy will never be the same.
^^^
And even though we ain't got money,I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.
^^^
Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign,Strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now I see a family where the once was none.Now we've just begun.
Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun.
^^^
And even though we ain't got money,I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.
^^^
Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup.Drink it up.
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, better take her home.
Don't you live alone.Try to earn what lovers own.
^^^
And even though we ain't got money,I'm so in love with you, honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning, when I rise,You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.
...
...
...

Sunday, December 28, 2008

...ESCAPE tO PARADISE...

I believe that this is the moment of my escape. After years of searching for the right path, for my destination, I finally realized all the signs on the road, tried to tell me. During those uncertain times, I thought I could never get sight of the right trail. I deemed it impossible for someone like myself - coward and weak - to dare get a grasp of peace and happiness, even lightly. But I stood, held my head upright, blinked my eyes a moment, but never regarded myself a bit of strength and will. The cowardice and weakness which molded my character, contoured my actions were the ones that unexpectedly nurtured an iota of strength and will submerged within the pit of my consciousness. Owing to the hurts and resentments I've exposed myself into in the past years of my life, these have hardened me, nullified the piercing pain of unmended wounds. Later, I was in apathy however, realizing such coldness in me, whereupon I entered a new place on earth filled with frivolity yet saturated with fervent love for life. My cynical view changed, my somber regard to living was soon tinted with frolic naivety. I then saw the light emanating from a direction I once forbore to look upon, yet I now firmly laid my eyes on. My escape to paradise will not remain in perpetuity, i reminded my self. But, I still believe in paradise. I know it's not some place you can look for. It's how you feel for a moment in your life. It is this moment. Not yesterday nor tomorrow, but at this very moment.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Diarios de MotocicLes

Ernesto Guevara de la Serna...

it was wednesday night, January 3rd of the year 2007...it was Late, and mah eyes were stiLL gLued to the TV when a new movie was starting...
...from it's beginning, I know it was a documentary...but I never knew it was going to change the direction of mah Life...
...the movie was titLed.."Diarios de MotocicLes"...or 'The MotorcycLe Diaries'...it foLLowed the Life of the 23 year oLd physician, Ernesto..his friend ALberto, a biochemist and their oLd-fashioned motorcycLe named 'The Mighty One'...they were on a journey through the great Lands of Latin America..traveLing from hometown argentina to VenezueLa...their destination...during their voyage, it was then, Ernesto reaLized the injustices happening in the Latinos...the urge to heLp the peopLe from injustice and sickness triggered that made him to become Ernesto 'Che' Guevara Serna...an important cuban revoLutionary and with the Latin bLoods...it was then at the end of the movie where I reaLized it was him..the Che Guevara peopLe aLways taLk about...'che was an expression of argentinians...most peopLe from other country wouLd guess a person is an argentinian because they were fond of saying 'che'...now, I know things about him, and what I kLearned is aLready enough to put him in the List of mah heroes and inspiration...the peopLe who motivated and inspied me to go on Living and dream..and do what I think I shouLd do...
...Ta,
ze Goddess